Víťa (the mother of Jan): The hardest thing was to cut the umbilical cord
If the son or daughter are taking drugs, you always blame the parents and blame it on the bad example in the family. What are they? That is the common prejudice, but it‘s not always the case. Sometimes the parents do nothing wrong at all. Víťa is well educated and hardworking woman, she always took care of her son, has clean criminal record. Even though her son Honza got in trouble with drugs and with the law.
What’s your profession?
I am an Economy engineer. Long time I worked in IT center. I also worked for different universities. When I was 55 I lost my job. At that age it is quite difficult to find a decent job. Finally I found a job in maternity school, but now I am retired.
Your only child Honza was in prison. What happened?
Honza had a huge problem with drugs, he took them for ten years. He also sold drugs and not only for that was convicted for 4 years in prison.
Did you ever talk about how it all began?
Not really. But once he mentioned, that he started to fool around drugs when he was about 20, when he was serving alternative military service. He wanted to live alone and I wasn’t against it, he was adult. But of course I lost control about what he is doing. And Honza as every drug addicted person knew what I wanted to hear and that exactly he was telling me.
What would be your message to parents who have their child in prison?
To cut the umbilical cord and let them to feel the trouble. They need to feel the consequences of their actions. If the parents would always help their child, they would think that nothing never happens to them, everything goes. For me it was really hard to cut the imaginary cord. But now I think, that if I was able to do it earlier it may not gone so far with Honza.
“When they called me that they locked Honza up, I felt relief.”
What was the hardest thing for you?
The darkest period lasted 4 years. I even experienced the loss of money from my account. I suspected it was my son. So I went to police and I reported it. There was really no other way. At the court Honza got suspended sentence, but later on there appeared an evidence that he was selling drugs and they switched his sentence to unconditional. He got 4 years in prison and they released him after almost 3.
How was it when they released him?
Hard. Honza is my son and at the same time the person who disappointed me a thousand times. He came to live with me and I was used to live alone for a long time. So I had to get used to this big change. We sat together and we settled the rules which Honza thank God follows.
Not a long time ago you ran a Yelow Ribbon Run half Marathon, you are getting ready to run a Relay and a Marathon. How did you get to running?
You know, when I didn’t have job years ago and Honza was in prison I was ready for psychiatrist. Once in the early morning I thought I try to run it off. So I‘ve put on my sweat pants and sneakers and I’ve hit the streets. I ran and ran. At first I measured my tracks by benches and trees. But soon I finished my first race.
“I’ve run my first half marathon not even a year after I’ve put on my sneakers for the first time.”
What is motivating you to train?
I want to show myself, that I can do it. I train 5 times a week in every weather. I’ve ran my first marathon when I was 57. Well I also run because of my son, so he can be proud of me. When he was in prison I used to bring to show him my medals.
What is the most beautiful thing what you have experienced in your life?
For example the nice years when I was married. And also my son, despite of all what happened.